it was a year ago today. I was waking up in jojo's spare room, hungover. I never thought I would only feel like that again twice from then to now. I thought life was so perfect then. I was happy, but in denial about my place with b&b. it felt like yesterday though, but at the same time it feels like an eternity away. I think I've been socially numb this year.
,I spent a lot of time grieving and being angry because as I've said before, I invested so much energy into this friendship. it wasn't until recently that I had a lightbulb moment. i've allowed myself to let go and forgive him.
and now, I'm free, and I'm happy. I'm on good terms with Blake, maybe it's because he noticed my change of attitude or what, but even if he does go all shitty on me again, I will not let it phase me. because I've learnt not to let my happiness depend on something so precarious. my social status in high school means nothing in the grand spectrum of life. although I would like to know why I'm invited to some things and not others.
in terms of ballet, this her has gone really slow. not in a bad way at all! I've felt I've accomplished so much, and I can'